I’m writing this while sitting in a hotel room wondering how I got here.  This time last night I was sitting in my living room with my husband crocheting a blanket for my granddaughter.  Tonight I’m homeless and alone.

Without getting into the details, I have been accused of cheating on my husband – not just once, but multiple times.  He has always had a problem with insecurity, which I believe stemmed from his experience with his first wife who did cheat on him, and indirectly, from what he saw his mother doing when his father wasn’t around.  Over the years I have encountered that insecurity over and over.  But I fought for my marriage, loving my husband (who is not a Christian), each time hoping and praying that we had finally overcome the jealousy, possessiveness, and insecurity.

How wrong I was.

It’s been a horrible, horrible year.  I spent the first half of it running the front desk of the busy medical clinic where I work all on my own, not to mention doing the job of another girl who had quit last year.  Stressful, to say the least until we finally got a couple more people hired.  On top of that, my dad was hospitalized in the Spring with kidney stones and a bad infection.  Then, this summer he had open heart surgery to replace a valve and have a bypass done.  After the surgery he had a stroke and was in the hospital for two months.  My mom was with us those two months and then she and dad stayed with us another two months as he recuperated.  Oh, and our dog got ran over in the driveway by my sister.  I think it was worse for her than us because she’s a big dog person.

Two weeks ago I was hospitalized with a severe asthma attack brought on by bronchitis.  My left lower lobe of my lung collapsed and I had to have a bronchoscopy – a ten minute procedure to clean out my lungs that took an hour because they were so caked with gunk.  No cancer, thank God.

I’ve only been home a week.

I don’t even know what to say.  I am at peace, though.  Jesus has been faithful to me.  I’m not alone.  He’s with me no matter what happens.  I would appreciate prayers, though.



One thought on “Surreal

  1. Tony November 25, 2015 / 6:43 PM

    Praying for you and your family


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