My husband and I just sold our home and are supposed to be closing on it by the end of April; if the good Lord is willing and the appraisal comes through for us on Monday. We are going to be renting until September and then the plan is to move to Arizona. But we will be leaving behind my oldest son, his wife, and our first grandchild. Our youngest son is attempting to enlist in the Air Force and if he’s successful, which looks to be the case, then he will be going to basic training in a few short months. I have major reservations about that, especially considering the state the world is in. But that’s another whole story.
I do look forward to the warmer weather that Arizona offers over Alaska’s long, dark, cold winters, but I feel like that when we leave Alaska we will be entering a totally different country. We may be somewhat isolated up here from the rest of the U.S., but there is also a sense of security, if you will. Perhaps it’s just a false sense of security to believe we are more insulated from all the troubles (crime, natural disasters, etc) that the lower 48 seems to be experiencing on a regular basis these days, but it does seem like we have less of it up here. I know anything can happen anywhere, and that I have to trust God to keep us safe wherever we land. And I do.
It’s just a matter of figuring out what He wants us to do – where He wants us to be. Of course, my husband is not a believer so he is not considering God’s will. He’s relying on himself to make an informed decision. I know I have to pray that he will make the right one.
Truthfully, I’m getting to the point where I don’t care where we end up – here or Arizona. I don’t feel like either is going to satisfy this longing in me for a better place, a better home. I don’t feel like I belong anywhere. No place is perfect. Evil abounds everywhere, and it is becoming more prevalent everywhere, even here in Alaska.
I know I will not be satisfied or feel at home anywhere in this world anymore. There is a longing in my soul for a far better country, where peace flows like a river – where I can rest in the arms of Jesus and never again feel sorrow, pain, or fear.
No, this world is not my home…and it hasn’t been for sometime now.